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I am now ruined for all future desserts

Not only am I now ruined for pretty much all future desserts, I believe I have also broken the laws regarding maximum chocolate density per slice of dessert. If I have, arrest me. Please.

I don't think I can ever knowingly have dessert again without comparing it to a slice of chocolate decadence from the Cheesecake Wizard. I haven't had a slice of decadence in over 10 years, easily, and today I had the honour to relive part of my past. I'm not sure I can put into words exactly how much chocolate goes into a slice of decadence, and I'm not sure I want to know. The must be laws about how much chocolate it's legal to put in a confined area, and a slice of decadence exceeds whatever limits are set.

So, you're asking, what exactly is in this uber dessert? I'm no culinary expert, but I will attempt to do justice to this baron of the dessert world.

Starting on top, there's this magical ganache-like upper that is infused with the souls of a thousand chocolatiers from around the planet, and a good helping of probably every kind of chocolate you can think of too. Take a little dark, a little milk and a little bit of every variety of chocolate in between, perform some wizardly magic - I'm convinced the Wizard doesn't cook, he casts spells - and it all turns into this wonderfuly chocolatey stuff that turns into heavenly bliss in the presence of a tongue. I kid you not, add saliva and the upper half of the decadence transforms into a chocolate mouth invasion, swamping your palate through chocolate overload infantry with reinforcements joining the battle every second.

On the bottom half of the decadence is an even more diabolocally delicious chocolate concoction. I'll be completely honest, I have no idea what its proper name is, nor do I think a single name could capture its chocolate omniesence. However, imagine that chocolate cake and chocolate pudding had a baby, and then imagine it a generation down more on the chocolate cake side of the family. Take the most moist, rich chocolate cake you've ever had, crank its essence up to about a 15 out of 10, and then double the chocolate. At this point you're starting to get the idea of just how rich the lower half of the decadence is. If you're making cake, double the eggs, double the butter, throw in some pudding. I don't think you could more greatly overwhelm your nervous system if you switched the flour out for bath salts.

What we haven't discussed at this point is how these two titans of chocolate ally themselves with each other in order to conquer every once of willpower you possess. If you took a slice of decadence home to meet your parents before a date, they'd be asking when the wedding was when you came home, its just that good.

When I picked up my slice of mouth utopia, I had a fellow foodie with me - Nadine, the First Lady of Bacon Jam (bacon jam on KD, bacon jam burgers). She wisely decided to purchase a slice of decadence as well, and upon taking her first foray into its vortex of awesomeness, she was left completely unable to speak and could only make "food noises" for her first 4 bites. Yes, a single forkful of this is so dangerous it can wipe your mind of rational thought until your brain finishes processing the chocolate sensations. Imagine the possibilities! Just give your significant other a forkful of this, state you're going to go out drinking with some friends, and all you'll get back is a "mmmmffffnnnnnnnggggg." Plus they won't even remember you asking the question, I'm betting.

Taking a fork laden with the tip of the wedge from a slice of decadence and putting it in your mouth is truly an epic experience. Imagine yourself standing outside in front of a chocolate tsunami, mouth open, waiting for tentacles of chocolate to caress and coat every inch of your mouth. That's about where the decadence starts, and it only gets better with every moment its in your mouth. If the Care Bears could do a chocolate Care Bear Stare, it might start to approach the fantastical experience that is a single bite of chocolate decadence.

The next time you need a little chocolate pick-me-up, if the Wizard has any in his bag of tricks, you need some chocolate decadence. Even if you don't need a pick-me-up, you need the decadence anyway.

The Cheesecake Wizard
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@CheesecakeWiz on Twitter
Saturdays at the Halifax Seaport Farmers' Market


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